Season One begins,
Cartman Gets an Anal Probe
Trey Parker, Matt Stone
Standing at bus stop,
Ike followed, what a dildo,
Look, kick the baby!
Cartman very tired,
Bogus nightmares all night long,
Didn’t sleep at all
Lying in his bed,
Bright blue light illuminates,
Door slowly opens
Pulled through the hallway,
Lying on table, aliens!
Operation, just a dream
No dude, Visitors!
Take people, mutilate cows
Cartman claims not real
Chef drives up, pimp car
What’s for lunch? Salisbury Steak
Visitors are real
Chef asks, anal probe?
Cartman says no, just a dream
Sorry about your ass
Crabtree is a bitch,
Ike still there, Visitors grab
Crabtree won’t stop bus
Farmer’s cows are dead,
“Cows turn themselves inside out,
All the time” –Barbrady
Mr. Hat teaching,
Columbus, Douglas, Hebrews
Napoleon too
Scared will be trouble,
“Where has that finger been Kyle?”
I need to find Ike!
Mr. Hat says no,
Have to stay in class Kyle
Cartman farts fire
Cows waiting for train,
You cows can’t get on this train,
This is people train
Cartman farts some more,
Still says Visitors not real,
Flames come out his ass
Stan is enamored,
He likes Wendy Testaburger,
Throws up when she talks
Letter delivered,
Meet at Stark’s Pond after school,
To Stan from Wendy
Chef sings little song,
Gonna make love to woman,
Do you feel better?
Cartman farts some more,
Anal probe device comes out,
Chef pulls the alarm
Got out of school day,
Cartman can’t stop the fire,
Alien control
He loves to sing-a,
‘Bout the moon-a and the June-a
What the hell was that?
Give me back brother!
Alien ship shoots Kenny,
Oh my god, bastards!
Kenny’s ok though,
Cow’s stampede, crushing Kenny
Oh wait, he’s still fine
Siren, lights flashing
Cop car drives over Kenny,
Now he’s dead, bastard!
Cartman says not dead,
Stan stick pokes, Kyle pulls head,
Screw you guys, going home
Stan leaves for Wendy,
Can’t help Kyle, needs lovin’,
While the getting’s hot
There’s Powdered Donut,
Pancake Surprise for Cartman,
Eensie weensie bite?
No Mem, don’t want it,
Chocolate Chicken Pot Pie?
Well that does sound good
At Starks Pond Stan pukes,
Kyle says get to business,
Make love by fire
News report, crop circles,
No Kitty! Is my pot pie!
Kitty is dildo
Wendy has a plan,
Use fat kid, alien bait
Good plan, Stan throws up
Friends at Cartman’s house,
Need time with little friends,
Go play at bus stop
Cartman tied to tree,
I don’t think I have to fart,
Fart some more Cartman!
Farts satellite dish,
Now do you believe, Cartman?
Can’t trick me, was dream
Ass dish beams to space,
Almost time Sanford and Sons,
Aliens appear
Kyle passionate,
Little brother is special,
Aliens ignore
What is wrong with you?
Ignore a crying child?!
Ike jump down from there!
Aliens to cows:
You are most wise on planet,
You are most wise on planet,
Here is a present
Aliens depart,
Cartman sucked up into ship,
No one notices
Stan talks to Wendy,
This time he doesn’t throw up,
Wendy goes to kiss
Stan throws up this time,
Hey look a French fry! There's more
Episode closes
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